How to apply the Four Agreements in your French learning ?

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Two essential words are to be remembered: word and impeccable.

It is necessary to know that speech is a power. To be able to use words well, to express oneself, to pass on a message is a gift.

Sometimes we forget its power. Speech can be as creative as it is destructive. We must therefore use it correctly, i.e. with full knowledge of the facts.

We unconsciously use other people as a mirror, a reflection. The comments or criticisms that we make about the other person are often projections of our "shadow share". This shadow is made up of everything we refuse to see in ourselves, both our qualities and our defects.

Impeccable means without sin. To sin is to do something against oneself. To be impeccable means: to do nothing against oneself, it is a question of common sense. If I insult a person, I attract his hatred, his anger... My word is therefore an action against myself, because it results in hatred against my person. 

An impeccable word is a healthy word, without judgment and that does not attack. For every negative action will be turned against the one who distributed it. We have an expression in French for this: la roue tourne

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How to have an impeccable with your word in his learning of French?                                                                                                                   

First, you will need to know the language registers. You will have to know how to use the right words, the right structures according to the communication situation you are in and with whom you are speaking. For this I advise you to consult this article: To know and differentiate the language registers in French. 

Don't forget also to respect the cultural codes and use the right words so as not to offend someone and to know how to be patient and polite if someone doesn't understand you.

Your speech must be impeccable. This does not mean that you must speak French perfectly, but at least know a few polite phrases.

Second, to make sure your speech is impeccable, think of someone who is unfriendly to you and write down everything you reproach him or her for.
For example: Hugo is a mean person because he doesn't care about my accent or the way I express myself in French.

Write down each reproach and see what each one reveals about you.
For example: I'm learning French and I find it difficult, I don't have confidence in myself and I think I have a bad accent and pronunciation. The subject of learning French is sensitive for me. That's why Hugo's words touch me, if I had confidence in myself I wouldn't even pay attention to them.

Choose another person and do the exercise again.

Don't take anything personally.

We are affected by the judgment of others only if we unintentionally give ourselves permission to be hurt. 

In order not to be touched by the judgment of others, we must free ourselves from the fear that creates negative emotions and reactions. This can lead us to doubt ourselves, to no longer agree with ourselves, and to do the same thing in turn.

We practice impeccable speech and distance ourselves from what affects us personally. In order not to be sensitive to this, we must regain self-confidence, know who we are, be sure and convinced of the rightness of our actions. This then leads to the following answer: "You think that about me, that's your right, your opinion. I don't take it personally", and saying to yourself, "Don't worry, I know who I am".

How can you avoid taking anything personally when learning French?                                                                                                                  

For example, you speak French and the person answers you in English.

Right away you will probably feel hurt or offended. However, there may be many reasons why the person answered you in English.  They may have simply wanted to please you or they may have just wanted to practice their English with you because yours is perfect. They may also think that you are more comfortable when you speak English (which is not necessarily the case).

In any case, don't take it personally, the person in front of you has his or her reasons, but that reason is not you.

Similar example in a situation where you ask for directions and the person answers you badly. Don't take it personally and don't question yourself thinking that you are bothering them and that your French is bad. This person is probably having a very bad day (who knows what he or she might have been going through?). Don't take it personally either, keep your smile and your speech impeccable.

It is by respecting this agreement that you really free yourself from your blockages and your fear of speaking in French.

Don't Make Assumptions.

An assumption is thinking in the place of others. It's imagining what others might think of us and what they wouldn't say to our face. Isn't that worrying? Creating your own poison, and inflicting it on yourself by agreeing ?

Not to assume is to be interested in facts, in truths. It is to free oneself from an evil that one inflicts on oneself.

How can you make no assumptions when learning French?     
 

Sometimes you feel lousy, you don't dare to speak in French for fear of making a fool of yourself or that others will reject you and make fun of you. There you make assumptions and on top of that they are unfounded, without concrete proof.

Don't make any more assumptions, free yourself from bad thoughts that can block you in your learning of French and in your everyday life. Go ahead without fear, the most important thing is to try and do your best. 

Whom better than a baby will be able to prove it to you? He may fall a thousand times while learning to walk, but he gets up each time and ends up walking. 

Always do your best.

It's obvious, isn't it? But who really applies it on a daily basis?

To do one's best is to accept oneself as one is today. It means setting coherent objectives according to our state of mind, or physical state. It means listening to yourself and acting accordingly to carry out actions adapted as good as possible. Knowing oneself means being aware of one's qualities and weaknesses and acting accordingly to achieve success.

To do your best is to be satisfied with your decisions, with what you do, with who you are. 

How to do your best in learning French?
 

It is understood that one progresses more when one tries to do one's best than when one decides to do nothing and stay in one's corner.                                                                                 

Trying + doing your best = Visible progress. 

It is also important to judge if we have really done our best, if we cannot do otherwise in a specific situation.                                                                                                                                             

For example, in learning French if you feel you are not making progress, you should ask yourself if you have done your best, try to find other solutions and get out of your comfort zone.

How to apply the four agreements in your daily learning of French ?

It's not the easiest thing to do, but it's a habit that you should try to pick up step by step. Don't be hard on yourself. On the contrary, you have to be forgiving. It can take a long time to set up. If we don't have impeccable speech or if we make assumptions, it doesn't matter. We forgive ourselves and try to do better and not make the same mistakes again.

In summary, if you apply the Four Agreements in your French learning, it can help you progress more serenely towards your goals. It is a method to be in agreement with yourself, and to give yourself all the chances to progress with serenity in life as in learning French. It is important to have a good state of mind when learning French in order to be able to blossom, have self-confidence and therefore progress more quickly and more quietly. 

And if you want to go further and read the book The Four Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz, I highly recommend it!

If you have a B1 level, this book is perfect for you. It is very accessible!
 

Les quatre accords toltèques : La voie de la liberté personnelle

Keep calm and see you soon for new adventures in French of course ! 🇫🇷